It was April 24, 2013. Wednesday afternoon. I was staying at my Parents' room, resting on their soft, brown couch. I woke up at the middle of my sleep and suddenly felt sick. I felt the urge to vomit and ran my way to the bathroom and let it all out. Normally, I would be grossed out. But that very moment, I didn't, I just let out a big smile and said, "THIS IS IT". However, I postponed the testing, thinking it was way too early.
Two days after, I took a test, but it was negative. I felt disappointed and hid the test inside my closet. I cried for a little while, called Marshall (who was at their house, studying) and told him what happened. He told me to throw the test away and all the other unused PT kits I had (I had about 10, I think!) and just enjoy what we had then. So I took the test from my closet (ready to throw it away) and was surprised to see a very, very faint line, which could actually mean a lot of things. But for me, it only meant one thing: I was pregnant…again! I called Marshall right away and I cried again. This time, however, it was tears of joy. :)
Two days after, I took a test, but it was negative. I felt disappointed and hid the test inside my closet. I cried for a little while, called Marshall (who was at their house, studying) and told him what happened. He told me to throw the test away and all the other unused PT kits I had (I had about 10, I think!) and just enjoy what we had then. So I took the test from my closet (ready to throw it away) and was surprised to see a very, very faint line, which could actually mean a lot of things. But for me, it only meant one thing: I was pregnant…again! I called Marshall right away and I cried again. This time, however, it was tears of joy. :)
The First Trimester
During the first trimester, I had the worst morning sickness. I don't know why they call it "morning" sickness because I had it all day long! I would vomit before and after eating. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. And all the meals I had in between. Have I mentioned it happened all day? It wasn't easy, as I had to worry about my weight loss and whether or not I was able to give my baby the proper nutrition he needed. The fact that I had to wait for about a month (after finding out) to know whether it was a viable pregnancy didn't help either. I was scared to death that what happened to me last March 2013 would happen to me again -- when I wasn't even able to hear the heartbeat of my little one before I lost him/her.
On May 22, I was around 7-8 weeks, I had my first ultrasound. And guess what? Marshall and I finally heard our little one's heartbeat. It was a milestone for the both of us. We could see our baby, our very own miracle, our half and half, looking like what seemed like a tiny worm, with a heart that's beating away. I cried during the ultrasound. I cried because I couldn't believe that it was happening. In fact, I had as many ultrasounds as I could just to make sure that I was really pregnant (and to check his progress, of course!). Heck, I even got my own doppler from Amazon (which I got through thecarefreeshopper!), which helped us get through the days when we would worry about our little one. Yes, I am that much of a paranoid. But who can blame me, anyway?
The Second Trimester
During the second trimester, which a lot of people call the "honeymoon stage" of pregnancy, my morning sickness was still at its peak. In addition to that, I had the worst back pain and I had my bouts of round ligament pain. Again, it wasn't easy. I wouldn't call it the most comfortable. However, it was indeed the honeymoon stage -- it was when I started to show and when I, we, first felt our baby kick/move. I remember smiling and screaming when I first felt a kick inside. Marshall wouldn't believe me at first because he couldn't feel it (Jealous much? Hehe). After 3 days of enjoying the kicks alone, our little one finally let our daddy join the fun. He felt him kick 3 times on August 27, at around 1 am. He screamed and jumped out of joy. He said it felt amazing and that he could do that everyday -- wait for our baby kick and feel it. Another milestone in our life together!
On August 8, I was about 18 weeks, we went out to get a gender determination ultrasound. I wanted a boy. Marshall wanted a boy. But everyone (except from my Mama and Sister) said it was going to be a girl! When it was already our turn, I felt excited and nervous at the same time. Our baby had his/her legs wide open but I couldn't really tell. The sonologist suddenly laughed and told us that our baby was scratching "down there". He then asked, "What do you want?". I said "boy!" with no hesitations. My prayer was answered, again! It was indeed a boy. Finally, a baby boy in our family!
The Third Trimester
During the third trimester, my morning sickness was already gone and so I started to gain weight. I could pretty much say that this is the most comfortable stage ever! I love that I could walk all day without getting too worn out and that I didn't have to go through edema and stretch marks (well, at least not yet…). I also love how the kicks and movement are more distinct now and how he would kick more whenever we're alone together. It makes me feel like he's already talking to me, telling me how much he loves me. Hihi. It was harder to sleep at night and to pick up something from the floor, though, but that's pretty bearable.
On November 8 (I was about 31 weeks+), however, after an unfortunate event at around 10PM, I had a trip to the Labor and Delivery room. It was only then we found out that I was already dilated to 1 and that I was having mild to moderate contractions. Not to mention a very bad UTI! Needless to say, I was confined and had to stay there for about 3 days. It wasn't easy staying there. I had to stay still all the time. I couldn't stand up or even sit up. The meds drove my heart rate up to 120+ so I had a heart time breathing as well and I had to be sedated. But, I was thankful that my baby was doing great and that they were able to stop the contractions. After I was sent home, I told myself (and the nurses too!) that that would be the last time I would end up on the L&D before I give birth. However, I had to go back there (hehe) on November 23 after a false water leak and found out that I was already at 1-2 with regular contractions (why the hell couldn't I feel them?). I was confined again but after 1 day, I asked, well, begged to be sent home because I would rather be in the comforts of our own home. I was sent home and was asked to go on strict house arrest until my due date (and that's less than a month away!). And just recently, I experienced bleeding and we all thought I was going to give birth already, yet again! Well, it turned out to be minimal and yes, I'm still very much pregnant. (Magiging pilyo tong batang to paglaki. Haha!) Pregnancy, indeed, is one hell of a roller coaster ride, no?
I have to admit, the house arrest was mentally and emotionally killing me. I have already lost almost 5-7 pounds in less than 2 weeks and Marshall is blaming my over thinking. I would cry at night, thinking about a lot of things and possibilities. From him not being there during my labor, to me dying on the table, to being forced to get a CS instead, to delivering my baby way too early and seeing him inside an incubator, to going overdue. I am one crazy pregnant woman, I know. But then again, I have to blame my hormones for that. :P (Disclaimer: I make sure my baby is perfectly healthy despite all the crazy things I do, or think of, for that matter.)
On November 8 (I was about 31 weeks+), however, after an unfortunate event at around 10PM, I had a trip to the Labor and Delivery room. It was only then we found out that I was already dilated to 1 and that I was having mild to moderate contractions. Not to mention a very bad UTI! Needless to say, I was confined and had to stay there for about 3 days. It wasn't easy staying there. I had to stay still all the time. I couldn't stand up or even sit up. The meds drove my heart rate up to 120+ so I had a heart time breathing as well and I had to be sedated. But, I was thankful that my baby was doing great and that they were able to stop the contractions. After I was sent home, I told myself (and the nurses too!) that that would be the last time I would end up on the L&D before I give birth. However, I had to go back there (hehe) on November 23 after a false water leak and found out that I was already at 1-2 with regular contractions (why the hell couldn't I feel them?). I was confined again but after 1 day, I asked, well, begged to be sent home because I would rather be in the comforts of our own home. I was sent home and was asked to go on strict house arrest until my due date (and that's less than a month away!). And just recently, I experienced bleeding and we all thought I was going to give birth already, yet again! Well, it turned out to be minimal and yes, I'm still very much pregnant. (Magiging pilyo tong batang to paglaki. Haha!) Pregnancy, indeed, is one hell of a roller coaster ride, no?
I have to admit, the house arrest was mentally and emotionally killing me. I have already lost almost 5-7 pounds in less than 2 weeks and Marshall is blaming my over thinking. I would cry at night, thinking about a lot of things and possibilities. From him not being there during my labor, to me dying on the table, to being forced to get a CS instead, to delivering my baby way too early and seeing him inside an incubator, to going overdue. I am one crazy pregnant woman, I know. But then again, I have to blame my hormones for that. :P (Disclaimer: I make sure my baby is perfectly healthy despite all the crazy things I do, or think of, for that matter.)
Overall, it wasn't an easy and perfect pregnancy -- it still isn't. But honestly, I love being pregnant! And I would do it all over again after I finish Law school, with both the good and bad. Every pain and discomfort I feel, every sacrifice I have to make, every wine or sushi or gathering I have to say No to, every big kick on the rib I have to endure, every night I have to go through with less or no sleep…every little damn thing was, is and will always be worth it because it only means one thing: I'm going to have a baby. And for a woman who's been told she's barren, that means just about everything.
Love, Mama Ella.
